I know how difficult a situation like this can be, I’ve been in one that was incredibly similar. My heart pours with love and empathy for you. <3 <3
I know things seem impossibly hard right now and like they’ll never get better and you’re totally stuck, but trust me, this is a passing phase of life, and things can and will get better.
I don’t know the full scope of your situation, only what you’ve told me, but here are some tips that I used when I still lived with my parents:
- Journal. Write every little frustration you feel down on paper. Even if you think it sounds stupid, or you feel like you shouldn’t be upset about it, write it down.
- Take time once a day to list out things you like about yourself. They can be small. You like the way your nose looks on sunny days, or how you make your mac and cheese taste just right. It may seem silly, but when you feel like nothing you do is right little reminders that you’re not all bad can really, really help.
- Forgive yourself when you make mistakes. You are human, and you’re allowed to mess up. I know that you are probably your own worst critic, but lighten up on yourself. You’ve got a lot of life ahead of you to make sense of.
This next one is a tough one, but I promise if you can do it, you will feel so, so much better.
-Set up boundaries with your mother. Next time she brings up your weight, as calmly and as firmly as you can say “My weight is not a subject I want to discuss with you. Let’s talk about something else.” or “I don’t feel comfortable talking about this.” or if you’re feeling particularly daring “My body does not belong to you, and you are not permitted to tell me what to do with it.” I know from experience that this can seem like the most daunting challenge, especially when you live under their roof/are subject to their rules. However, it is true. The body you are in is yours, 100%. No one can tell you how it “should” look or how much you “should” weigh. Even your mother.
Depression is a hard monster to battle, and it sounds like you’re already going through some type of counselling, however if you aren’t, I strongly suggest it. Find a counselor who you can trust and who gives you the respect you deserve, and talk it out.
I hope some of this helped, and if you ever need someone to talk to my ask box is always open. <3 <3